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Some thoughts

This part was written on August 12, 2023 Lately I've been thinking about what it is I do and how it is I worship YHWH. Sometimes, I feel so busy with the things of life that I don't consider Him at all through the day.  I dread to think what that must be like from His perspective: What if I was ignored all day long because my husband was too busy? What if it was frequently? What if I found he hadn't communicated with me at all, and none of it was dire busy-ness but instead just the day to day things, and even a little selfish alone time to just do nothing, but also not talk to me? I would feel neglected. I am glad YHWH knows my humanness and my ignorance and my selfishness. I'm glad He knows that my mind wanders to laundry and groceries and menus when I should be thinking of other things.  I hate that I do that though.  All of the living of life takes wisdom to do correctly- the way HE would have me do. And it takes wisdom to know when to slow myself down from the day t

Behind the Hidden Door

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Written August 27, 2023 It's quite a thing to go through life changes and if we live to see them, we will all go through them.  As a young person my body changed from a child into a woman's body, then a mother's body. Now at 50, sans womb, it's changing into yet another woman's body: a middle aged woman's body. Changing too are my emotions and abilities and desires on how to spend my time.  It's all hidden from me: the ideas of who I will be now that my focus has changed in life and that I'm not just a mother any longer- not needed as one either. That's a big change. I love being a wife but my heart is a bit sad over no longer being a mother to young people. It's not the same to love my grandchildren and hand them back to their parents without as much of myself to pour into their lives. I know my time of that is gone, and it's bittersweet. It's a blessing to get to love them I know, but it's also hard to know I can't keep them as

Some "Yard tea" and other things

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  Dandelion petals, violet, ground ivy, and mint. Today I'm processing some beef broth I made two days ago. It's in the canner right now. It was super easy and came out delicious but if you'd asked my oldest granddaughter, it "smelled and looked gross." She was brave and tasted it and determined it was delicious though. We FaceTimed while I got my jars ready and put the gelatinous mass into them from larger jars and a bowl I had used to put them in the fridge. She seemed excited when I told her that this is how gelatin is made.  We scooped the warm broth into the jars together, while she noticed it was quite greasy. So I saved the grease off the broth and had some fat in the freezer and am currently heating it to render to make tallow.  I need to finish folding towels and put those away and get a few other chores done before it's tine to make supper. What are you doing these days? 

WIDN

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 Tonight I’m awake and it’s just past midnight. It’s not ideal to not sleep but alas it’s just one of the things that happen sometimes. Im sure it’s something hormonal that keeps me from restful sleep.  So here’s widn:

The gentle art of domesticity

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 I’ve been enjoying this book slowly. Here’s what in reading right this moment: I also enjoy my own chickens.

The way of water on the rock

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Last night I woke up with this in my mind: "You fear the way of the water on the rock. You are afraid of time." I started praying: "I have pray that you would teach me to number my days so that I can grow wise and walk circumspectly, which You have done and are doing in the flesh of my body." I had many thoughts of the way of water on rocks.  The way of water on a rock is persistent until it breaks through and makes a new path. It erodes the rock and washes away the small parts. We would know this as "erosion" and given that water is so versatile, it can go quite fast! From drips to floods to ice expansion it can seep into places you didn't even know were open. If it's in a soft material like wood it can rot away what looks solid. If it's in the dirt, it can freeze and expand upward, leaving hollow places for more water. Water is patient and relentless in it's pursuit of moving together. It has weak hydrogen bonds that break when disturbed

Where I'm heading

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 I don't know about you, but regularly blogging- or anything- is hard. Since I've been on social media the last nearly two decades, I've found I say many of the things I want to say I say there instead of here. I quit Facebook and instagram some time ago and have gone back for various reason, but again quit this past autumn. I realized some time ago that I was wasting so much time there and there was no way to get away from toxic things, like advertisements that seem to know everything about me (for the record, I don't believe that people *are* toxic, but when someone is described as such, it's because they make poor decisions and life choices and that YHWH can change anyone so I refrain from saying a person is or people are toxic).  So here I am again, rereading my own blog posts and missing out on being able to capture my thoughts in full rather than little quips and shares. Does anyone else's words and memes ever completely reflect everything you want to say